Thread: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Josh Berkus
Date:
Folks,

I'd like to have one or two people look over the PR stuff one last time now
that it's all together.    Here's what I'm wanting:

-- typos
-- egregious grammar mistakes
-- completely wrong facts

I am not interested in content editing at this time; we'll be starting
translations on Tuesday, and lots of people have already helped develop what
we have.

Here's the docs:
http://pgfoundry.org/docman/?group_id=1000047

--
--Josh

Josh Berkus
Aglio Database Solutions
San Francisco

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
"Greg Sabino Mullane"
Date:
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Hash: SHA1


> I'd like to have one or two people look over the PR stuff one last
> time now that it's all together.

Looks good to me. My only complaint is that the server at pgfoundry.org
is serving it up as type "application", probably due to the lack of
file extension.

- --
Greg Sabino Mullane greg@turnstep.com
PGP Key: 0x14964AC8 200411082050


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Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
"Michael Paesold"
Date:
Josh Berkus wrote:
> -- typos


In 80_draft_9:

* Paragraph Point in Time Recovery:
continously should be continuously

* Paragraph About PostgreSQL:
spell checker says: longtime should be long time or long-time


In additional_stuff:

* Paragraph 1:
numerious should be numerous

* Paragraph 4 - Data Import/Export:
seperated should be separated

* Paragraph 7 - Backup:
portablity should be portability


Don't you have a spell checker, have you? ;-)

Best Regards,
Michael Paesold

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Simon Riggs
Date:
On Tue, 2004-11-09 at 01:23, Josh Berkus wrote:
> Folks,
>
> I'd like to have one or two people look over the PR stuff one last time now
> that it's all together.    Here's what I'm wanting:
>
> -- typos
> -- egregious grammar mistakes
> -- completely wrong facts
>
> I am not interested in content editing at this time; we'll be starting
> translations on Tuesday, and lots of people have already helped develop what
> we have.
>
> Here's the docs:
> http://pgfoundry.org/docman/?group_id=1000047

....Not sure why Mr.Nakazawa's comments have been truncated. The
following sentence has been removed from the main release:

"We are committed to helping make PostgreSQL the leading Database
Management System."

Is it Fujitsu's intention to partially exclude that comment, or is there
some other reason for removing that?

It seems a particularly interesting comment from a senior individual...

--
Best Regards, Simon Riggs


Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Andrew Sullivan
Date:
On Mon, Nov 08, 2004 at 05:23:57PM -0800, Josh Berkus wrote:
> Folks,
>
> I'd like to have one or two people look over the PR stuff one last time now
> that it's all together.    Here's what I'm wanting:
>

Other people already caught the typos I saw.  I find this pretty
strange, though: "PostgreSQL is the collective work of hundreds of
developers, building on almost twenty years of development dating
back to the University of California at Berkeley."

UC Berkeley is not a date, so nothing could date back to it.  I'd
suggest "almost twenty years of development, which started at the
University of California at Berkeley" or something like that.  It's
still awkward, though.  Anyone got something better?

A

--
Andrew Sullivan  | ajs@crankycanuck.ca
When my information changes, I alter my conclusions.  What do you do sir?
        --attr. John Maynard Keynes

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Josh Berkus
Date:
Simon,

> ....Not sure why Mr.Nakazawa's comments have been truncated. The
> following sentence has been removed from the main release:

The reason that quotes have been truncated is because they were each too long
to include in the release to go out by e-mail.    We don't want a quote which
is longer than the descriptive paragraphs.

However, I can certainly see arguments to have truncated it differently.   If
you cut it down to 4 lines, how would you truncate it?

--
Josh Berkus
Aglio Database Solutions
San Francisco

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Simon Riggs
Date:
On Tue, 2004-11-09 at 17:00, Josh Berkus wrote:
> Simon,
>
> > ....Not sure why Mr.Nakazawa's comments have been truncated. The
> > following sentence has been removed from the main release:
>
> The reason that quotes have been truncated is because they were each too long
> to include in the release to go out by e-mail.    We don't want a quote which
> is longer than the descriptive paragraphs.
>
> However, I can certainly see arguments to have truncated it differently.   If
> you cut it down to 4 lines, how would you truncate it?

I'd lose the first line, not the last.
--
Best Regards, Simon Riggs


Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Josh Berkus
Date:
Simon,

> I'd lose the first line, not the last.

Can you be more specific?   Like, post your version of the cut?

--Josh

--
__Aglio Database Solutions_______________
Josh Berkus               Consultant
josh@agliodbs.com     www.agliodbs.com
Ph: 415-752-2500    Fax: 415-752-2387
2166 Hayes Suite 200    San Francisco, CA

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
David Fetter
Date:
On Tue, Nov 09, 2004 at 10:01:31AM +0100, Michael Paesold wrote:

> Don't you have a spell checker, have you? ;-)

Best read aloud:

Eye halve a spelling checker:
it came with my PC.
It plainly Marx four my revue,
miss steaks aye Cannes knot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm sure your pleased to no.
Its letter perfect in it's weigh:
my checker tolled Meese owe!

Cheers,
D
--
David Fetter david@fetter.org http://fetter.org/
phone: +1 510 893 6100   mobile: +1 415 235 3778

Remember to vote!

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Simon Riggs
Date:
On Tue, 2004-11-09 at 19:13, Josh Berkus wrote:
> Simon says
> > I'd lose the first line, not the last.
>
> Can you be more specific?   Like, post your version of the cut?
>

The full quote is

"Fujitsu is very pleased with the new features in PostgreSQL 8.0. We are
confident that these enterprise features will attract a great number of
new PostgreSQL users.", said Mr. Takayuki Nakazawa, Director of
Fujitsu's OSS Database in Software Group. "Fujitsu is proud of its
sponsorship of contributions to PostgreSQL and of its work with the
PostgreSQL community. We are committed to helping make PostgreSQL the
leading Database Management System."

which, if forced to edit down, I would reduce to

Mr. Takayuki Nakazawa, Director of Fujitsu's OSS Database in Software
Group commented "Fujitsu is proud of its sponsorship of contributions to
PostgreSQL and of its work with the PostgreSQL community. We are
committed to helping make PostgreSQL the leading Database Management
System."

IMHO and with respect to Mr. Nakazawa, the importance of his comments
for the community and wider world are the sponsorship and commitment he
voices on behalf of a major global corporation. His starting comments
offer some context, as well as some other views that follow naturally
from the important closing statements (if they were reordered).

If it were me, I would not edit his words at all.

His last statement is the most important:

"We are committed to helping make PostgreSQL the leading Database
Management System."

This shows the strength of his position, his ambition and the fact that
he is helping, i.e. recognition that he is acting as part of a wider
community, not as de facto owner, as can be common elsewhere in OSS.

Thank you for your support Mr. Nakazawa

--
Best Regards, Simon Riggs


Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Josh Berkus
Date:
Folks,

> IMHO and with respect to Mr. Nakazawa, the importance of his comments
> for the community and wider world are the sponsorship and commitment he
> voices on behalf of a major global corporation. His starting comments
> offer some context, as well as some other views that follow naturally
> from the important closing statements (if they were reordered).
>
> If it were me, I would not edit his words at all.

Anyone else have an opinion on this?

--
--Josh

Josh Berkus
Aglio Database Solutions
San Francisco

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
"Marc G. Fournier"
Date:
On Tue, 9 Nov 2004, Andrew Sullivan wrote:

> On Mon, Nov 08, 2004 at 05:23:57PM -0800, Josh Berkus wrote:
>> Folks,
>>
>> I'd like to have one or two people look over the PR stuff one last time now
>> that it's all together.    Here's what I'm wanting:
>>
>
> Other people already caught the typos I saw.  I find this pretty
> strange, though: "PostgreSQL is the collective work of hundreds of
> developers, building on almost twenty years of development dating
> back to the University of California at Berkeley."
>
> UC Berkeley is not a date, so nothing could date back to it.  I'd
> suggest "almost twenty years of development, which started at the
> University of California at Berkeley" or something like that.  It's
> still awkward, though.  Anyone got something better?

"... building on almost twenty years of development, originating at the
University of California at Berkeley."?

----
Marc G. Fournier           Hub.Org Networking Services (http://www.hub.org)
Email: scrappy@hub.org           Yahoo!: yscrappy              ICQ: 7615664

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
"Joshua D. Drake"
Date:
Josh Berkus wrote:
> Folks,
>
>
>>IMHO and with respect to Mr. Nakazawa, the importance of his comments
>>for the community and wider world are the sponsorship and commitment he
>>voices on behalf of a major global corporation. His starting comments
>>offer some context, as well as some other views that follow naturally
>>from the important closing statements (if they were reordered).
>>
>>If it were me, I would not edit his words at all.
>
>
> Anyone else have an opinion on this?

I think we should leave the fujitsu stuff alone. It is important.

>


--
Command Prompt, Inc., home of PostgreSQL Replication, and plPHP.
Postgresql support, programming shared hosting and dedicated hosting.
+1-503-667-4564 - jd@commandprompt.com - http://www.commandprompt.com
Mammoth PostgreSQL Replicator. Integrated Replication for PostgreSQL

Attachment

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Gavin Sherry
Date:
On Tue, 9 Nov 2004, Josh Berkus wrote:

> Folks,
>
> > IMHO and with respect to Mr. Nakazawa, the importance of his comments
> > for the community and wider world are the sponsorship and commitment he
> > voices on behalf of a major global corporation. His starting comments
> > offer some context, as well as some other views that follow naturally
> > from the important closing statements (if they were reordered).
> >
> > If it were me, I would not edit his words at all.
>
> Anyone else have an opinion on this?

I agree that the whole quote should be included but I am conflicted :-).
At the very least, the quote which is decided on needs to be bounced back
to Fujitsu since what they've said has changed.

Thanks,

Gavin

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
"Marc G. Fournier"
Date:
On Tue, 9 Nov 2004, Josh Berkus wrote:

> Folks,
>
>> IMHO and with respect to Mr. Nakazawa, the importance of his comments
>> for the community and wider world are the sponsorship and commitment he
>> voices on behalf of a major global corporation. His starting comments
>> offer some context, as well as some other views that follow naturally
>> from the important closing statements (if they were reordered).
>>
>> If it were me, I would not edit his words at all.
>
> Anyone else have an opinion on this?

We are PRing a PostgreSQL release ... Mr. Nakazawa's full quote is
appropriate for the Fujitsu PR, but should have a minor focus in our PR,
and, as such, should eithe rbe shortened (or, if shortened is deemed
inappropriate, removed) ...

The focus shuld be on the release, not on commercial involvement ...

----
Marc G. Fournier           Hub.Org Networking Services (http://www.hub.org)
Email: scrappy@hub.org           Yahoo!: yscrappy              ICQ: 7615664

Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
"Greg Sabino Mullane"
Date:
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Hash: SHA1


> Anyone else have an opinion on this?

Keep the full quote. This is a press release, not a spec sheet,
so the quotes are extremely important.

- --
Greg Sabino Mullane greg@turnstep.com
PGP Key: 0x14964AC8 200411091928

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Re: Final Copy Edit: Press Release, Page

From
Josh Berkus
Date:
Gavin,

> I agree that the whole quote should be included but I am conflicted :-).
> At the very least, the quote which is decided on needs to be bounced back
> to Fujitsu since what they've said has changed.

Fujitsu OK'd truncating it, provided that I only cut whole sentences.

--
--Josh

Josh Berkus
Aglio Database Solutions
San Francisco