Currently the tuple returned by INSTEAD OF triggers on DELETEs is only used to determine whether to pretend that the DELETE happened or not, which is often not helpful enough; for example, the actual tuple might have been concurrently UPDATEd by another transaction and one or more of the columns now hold values different from those in the planSlot tuple. Attached is an example case which is impossible to properly implement under the current behavior. For what it's worth, the current behavior seems to be an accident; before INSTEAD OF triggers either the tuple was already locked (in case of BEFORE triggers) or the actual pre-DELETE version of the tuple was fetched from the heap.
So I'm suggesting to change this behavior and allow INSTEAD OF DELETE triggers to modify the OLD tuple and use that for RETURNING instead of returning the tuple in planSlot. Attached is a WIP patch implementing that.
Is there any reason why we wouldn't want to change the current behavior?
Since nobody seems to have came up with a reason, here's a patch for that with test cases and some documentation changes. I'll also be adding this to the open commit fest, as is customary.