Re: Press Release -- Just Waiting for Tom - Mailing list pgsql-advocacy

Seems like this didn't go through so I am resending it.
--------------- Forwarded message (begin)

 Subject: Re: [pgsql-advocacy] Press Release -- Just Waiting for Tom
 From: Robert Treat <xzilla@users.sourceforge.net>
 Date: Sun, 17 Nov 2002 21:33:09 -0500

 I updated the web version with changes as noted below.

 greg@turnstep.com wrote:
 >> Last-minute copy edits, please, people?
 >
 > Be careful what you ask for! :) Away we go...
 >
 > The names at the top should indicate what country each person
 > is in, perhaps next to the phone number in parenthesis.
 >
 > The "Contact: " should be on its own line, and perhaps say
 > "Contacts:" since it refers to both Justin and Mark.
 >

 done. not to sound americentric, but do we think it might be a problem that
 we don't have anyone from the US in our contacts list?

 > "the best has gotten even better!" sounds pretty dorky.
 >

 hmm.. it beat out the coolest has gotten even cooler and the 37713ist has
 gotten even 37713er, have any suggestions?

 > I'd move "freely available" to another sentence as it is wordy
 > enough already.
 >
 > "version" should be spelled out - those reading may not naturally
 > know what v7.3 means.
 >

 I'd almost be in favor of calling it PostgreSQL 7.3, but this needs to be
 done in a uniform manner, so for now I changed it to version 7.3

 > We may want to simply call it a RDBMS, as it will be more familiar
 > to the press than the ORDBMS acronym. Tough call.
 >

 I actually agree with Mark on this one. It helps differentiate us from some
 of the open source databases that call themselves an rdbms even though they
 arn't.

 > The first paragraph should probably have a little more emphasis
 > on ideas like "features", "maturity", "stability", and "powerfulness"
 > and a little less on the cost/savings angle.
 >
 >> saving business and government millions of dollars each year.
 >
 > Should this be "businesses and governments"? Perhaps simply
 > "saving businesses millions...."?

 done

 >
 > The quote attributions should have some sort of delimiter immediately
 > before them, such as a single or double dash.
 >

 done

 > Some of the quotes have bad grammar (esp. the Mohawk one) but if it
 > is a verbatim quote, there is not much that can be done. A period
 > after "ODBC" and a capital "W" might be acceptable however?
 >

 I left these alone since I assume they are word for word quotes; can anyone
 verify this?

 >> The worldwide PostgreSQL community is very excited about this release,
 >> which includes numerous modifications and enhancements thanks to the
 >> contributions of 573 developers and thousands of volunteer testers
 >> from more than 30 countries.
 >
 > I think an abstract number for the developers would sound better
 > and be more truthful: "over 570 developers". I also didn't like
 > the fact that my previous parsing only found 38 countries, so I
 > did some more digging in the email lists and we can definitely say
 > "over 50" if the number is including "testers" as well as "developers".
 > I found: fi, pt, cl, hr, in, lk, sg, py, tb, and many others to easily
 > boost the number to over 50. :)
 >

 went with more than 500 developers and 50 countries...

 >> "This is a quote from Tom Lane about the
 >> new version," said Tom Lane, a PostgreSQL Core
 >> Developer.  Among the advances in version 7.3  are:
 >
 > The "Among" should probably begin a new paragraph. Maybe the Tom
 > quote as well, depending on its length.
 >

 I was htinking of just writing in "Tom Lane could not be reached in time
for
 this release, but a spokesperson for the core group said that "the source
 code pretty much speaks for itself"... :-)

 >> PostgreSQL now joins the handful of ORDBMSs to support
 >
 > The paragraph is good, but the "handful of ORDBMs" sounds awkward.
 > Also, we should avoid English colloquialisms if possible due
 > to the international nature of the site.
 >

 well, I think we are going for an arbitrary number that implies a msall
 number. or maybe we can just say "the small number of ..."?

 > Aside: "ORDBMSs" can be written as "ORDBMS's" - an apostrophe is
 > acceptable usage as a plural when using an acronym ending
 > in the letter S.
 >
 >> 7.3 has greatly simplified returning result sets of rows and columns in
 >
 > The product should be consistently referred to as "PostgreSQL" or
 > "PostgreSQL 7.3", or even "Version 7.3", but not simply "7.3".
 >
 >>        Oracle applications to PostgreSQL.
 >
 > "Oracle" will need a copyright symbol and a disclaimer on the bottom
 > to be totally legit.
 >
 >> In response to community demands, PostgreSQL has added schema,
 >> function, and other permissions and settings to increase the database
 >> administrator's granular control over security.
 >
 > A bit awkward, but not too bad.
 >
 >>   Other Enhancements
 >>        Version 7.3 also includes:
 >
 > The double indent looks a bit odd. Perhaps simply saying:
 > "Other enhancements in version 7.3 include:"?
 >
 >> - Dozens of bug fixes and performance enhancements to maintain
 >>  PostgreSQL's leading position in ORDMBSs.
 >
 > This is the first time in this article that we have mentioned
 > that we are in the "leading position" and it seems odd to throw it
 > out here, at the bottom of the new features list. Also, the "dozens
 > of bug fixes" implies dozens of bugs, so that could possibly
 > be left out.
 >

 Does switching the order sound better?
           - Dozens of performance enhancements and bug fixes to maintain
           PostgreSQL's leading position in ORDMBSs.

 I'm not against leaving out the bug fixes if no one else has a problem with
 it.  Do we think people will read the release and post to -general "Did
 they fix any of the bugs in the system?"...

 >> Source for this release is available on all mirrors under:
 >>   http://www.postgresql.org/pub/source/v7.3
 >
 > This is a bad URL to give out. The URL as entered above into a
 > browser returns a 404 error. (ideally it should return a list of mirrors
 > and then redirect, but that's an issue for another day). In addition,
 > the casual reader may not understand the concept of "mirrors".
 >
 >>               http://advocacy.postgresql.org
 >
 > This should have a trailing slash on it.
 >
 >> A complete list of changes in v7.3 can be found in the HISTORY file,
 >> included with the release, or available from all ftp mirrors as:
 >>               http://www.postgresql.org/README.v7_3
 >
 > Same problem as above (404). In addition, the sudden mention of
 > "ftp" mirrors could be confusing. Maybe we can redirect everything
 > through the advocacy site? Linking to a page on advocacy that states
 > the latest versions, how to get them, and links to the history file
 > might be one way.
 >

 I changed the first two links but left the third alone.  Actually I thought
 it was wierd that we say to look in the HISZTORY file but the file we point
 to is called README... Is there a valid link for this somewhere? If not,
 can we just make a page somewhere that shows all of the changes in 7.3 and
 link to that?

 >> .. With it's long time support
 >
 > This should be "its"; it's is used only as a contraction.
 >

 world's = possesive form for the world so wouldn't it's also show
 possesivness for it?

 >> .. triggers, and subqueries PostgreSQL
 >
 > Should be a comma after "subqueries"
 >
 >> is being used by many of todays most demanding businesses.
 >
 > "today's" should have an apostrophe.
 >
 >> Corporations such as BASF, Red Hat, Afilias Inc (managing the .org
 >> and .info domains), Cisco, Chrysler, and 3Com rely on
 >
 > Afilias is a limited corporation, and should be written as
 > "Afilias Limited" or simply "Afilias". The others have more
 > official names (e.g. "Red Hat, Inc.") but the short names
 > used above should be fine for a press release.
 >
 >> For more information on PostgreSQL, please visit
 >> http://advocacy.postgresql.org.
 >
 > The URL should be on its own line, and include a trailing slash.
 >
 > Greg Sabino Mullane  greg@turnstep.com

 thanks for the feedback Greg :-)

 Robert Treat